2017

As we usher in another New Year, I once again feel the pressers to reinvent myself. January has turned into a starting block. We are all the horses biting at the bit waiting for the starting flag for another chance to grab that elusive win. Some years I purposely chose not to participate, but I know myself well enough to know I'm really a joiner at heart. No matter what is asked if I hear the silence after the request my insides long to answer.

This need to please has helped me learn many new skills. I can run a sewing machine, work a computer (that was much more impressive back in the day 🙄), and hold a short conversation in sign language. I've also wandered small ancient stone roads in Israel, dig holes in Paris' Champ de Mars and climbed water towers in small midwestern towns. But mostly I've washed way to many dishes and been class parent more often than was good for me.

New Years is that chance to make yet another resolution. This year I will eat better, go to the gym, grow that last inch nature so wrongly denied me. Entire industries run on these hopes and dreams. Then a month later the gym is empty, our tummies are full and we are the same damn height. Yes I've read the articles, real change is less glamorous, it's smaller and more consistent. But what is the fun in that? 

Fun is another thing I have trouble saying no too. Granted my sense of fun has changed over the years. Hours of video games are fun for my kids but make me want to scream. And saying yes to everything drains my energy and joy. But no matter how old I get, I really don't want to do things that aren't fun. Who wants to do taxes or clean up the mess when all the guests leave? We do them why? Because jail and cockroaches are even less fun. Ugh.

So what have I learned, I'm a hedonistic, shallow, live for the moment kind of gal. And yet, that's not really me, I'm not nearly that edgy.  

Do less but with more focus more consistency. Less flash, more do. This is not a post about New Years resolutions, this is post about slow consistent choices. This is about the life knowledge that not saying yes to everything will ultimately bring me more joy. I do this now, this anti-resolution at the height of the resolution season to be different, you might even say edgy. I do it to make it fun, and because I like company, remember, I'm a joiner, I'd love to have company on this slow steady journey to change.